I bought fifty votive candles for him.
When only one remained, his forty-nine days
in the bardo had ended. I invoked
my force majeure clause and burned that
contract that had entrapped my entire life.
I hope to turn again one day –
turn from dark death thoughts to life,
to rise from the fire into lightness,
floating like the ashes that rise above
the flames and escape to the sky.
I hope to return to this time
lent us, because I hope the garden
will return from under snow, because hope
is dusted upon the slender one standing
in the distance, haloed by the sun.
Because I do not hope to turn again
Because I do not hope
Because I do not hope to turn
Born at the end of a century,
she knew only this one, not even
for two full decades. Too brief.
Fin de siècle, closing one era, onto another.
A brief summer. Winter without a spring.
Fin de siècle is a French term meaning “end of century,” a term which typically encompasses both the meaning of the similar English idiom “turn of the century” and also makes reference to the closing of one era and onset of another. It is often associated with the end of the 19th century.