Year’s end always sends thoughts into the past.
Review and reflection. Celebrations and regrets. Conclusions.
But briefly. Then to a future near
and far but all unclear, unformed, undetermined.
Momentarily, no present. No now. No self.
I don’t think I accept chaos theory,
but I know that small wing flaps
in my life have probably caused tornadoes.
Present determines future, but approximate present doesn’t
approximately determine the future. That is chaos.
I flow today like this two-hearted river.
My energies come from two different places
in my past that should have passed,
but they have pooled around me today.
I’m trying to empty them. Dissipation. Loss.